Alimatou S Bajinka
Britannica defines pornography as a representation of sexual behaviour in books, pictures, statues, films, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement. But what are the effects of pornography on relationships and its negative impacts on ‘porn addicts’?
To delve proper into the social phenomenon, The Fatu Network engaged a marriage counsellor and some ‘porn addicts’ on the effects of porn.
Mariama Jawara, a marriage counselor told The Fatu Network that marriage is not all about sex so living in a porn illusion literally makes marriage funny and meaningless.
“Porn is a multi-billion dollar per year industry. It is visually exciting and instantly grabs attention. It’s entertainment performed by actors. Just as your marriage and family life are much different than a 30-minute sitcom, the same applies to your sex life. When we fill our minds with false images of porn, we naturally take those expectations with us. Marriage is not all about sex so living in a porn illusion literally makes marriage funny and meaningless.”
Usher (not his real name) has been married for 2 years with a child and faces difficulty becoming sexually aroused without pornography. Usher detailed the negative impact porn has had on his marriage.
“As a clear victim, I would say porn is destructive to a happy marriage. I was happily married but that just lasted for a few months as I engage myself in watching porn. Now I do not have the sexual urge or feelings without watching porn. My wife complains about me not being intimate with her and now distances herself from me and sometimes she does not even talk to me because I am unable to satisfy her sexually since I started watching porn.”
Usher, however, said his wife does not know of his addiction to pornography, saying “she does not really know that I watch porn. I cannot let her know. I still watch porn in my office and at places, I feel I am not being watched.”
He expressed uncertainty when asked if he has any plan of quitting the habit of watching porn.
“Well, I tried quitting several times, but I always find myself back to the habit. I just wish I could stop and go back to my normal life, which is being happy again with my wife.”
In the same vein, Mrs Jaka (not her real name), who has been married for 3 years with no child, has been watching porn well before getting married and has increasing doubts about the value of staying married.
“I have been watching porn before getting married. I was forced into marriage because marriage is not something that I find attractive. Watching porn has made me view the idea of marriage as senseless. To me it is all about sex and certifying one another, so if I can be certified by just watching porn what is the essence of marriage?”
When asked about the sexual relationship between her and her husband, Mrs Jaka said she has already asked for a divorce and that she does not feel any emotional attachment to her husband.
“We live as a couple physically, but there is no emotional attachment and I have asked for a divorce on several occasions but he is not giving in to it, so we are just living like that.”
Research has shown that pornography affects people’s emotional lives. Married men and women who are involved in pornography are said to feel less satisfied with their marital sexual relations and less emotionally attached to their husbands and wives.
